Be Careful What You Wish For - It's True

The old saying really is true. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

The more I think about my life, the more I realize, more often than not, I have received what I wished for. The issue is, it was not often WHEN I wished to get it. So what happened was, I got what I wanted, except I didn't want it any more. Then I started crying the "why me" song.

This happened again quite recently. I have always wanted a reciprocal, loving relationship with someone who would be supportive of me, and not tear me down. Not want to change me into something I was not. Not feed my insecurities. Just love me, flaws and all.

Everytime I thought I received this, it was not what I asked for. Once I got through the smoke and mirrors, there was nothing there. But....each wrong relationship was getting me ready for the right one. I know this. I had to see what love didn't feel like, before I could appreciate what it does feel like. I was ready for the right thing not long ago so I asked for it.

Months and months later, it showed up. It's not perfect, but perfect for me. It feels good, it makes me smile first thing in the morning. It settles me in for the night. It makes me feel a safety I have never felt before. It is adult, and mature. It is also the wrong time. I won't go into the reasons...it's just the wrong time.

I am making big moves right now, and this is when all this crazy goodness shows up. So the question is, is this another case of my getting what I asked for but not when? Or is this another mis-step towards being ready for the real..real thing? I guess that remains to be seen, eh?

By the way..I'm still leaving! LOL